Month: February 2011

This morning when I woke up I experienced quite a dizzy spell. I tried laying back down but when I got up again it was still there. I got our team down to breakfast but everything was spinning for me. The team prayed for me and I got a bit of sugar into myself and after about 3 hours I was stable – just in time to for church. Our team led the service here at Living Waters. Mike and Peter led us in musical worship, the team gathered into small groups to pray with people from the congregation, Valerie shared her testimony, and I preached. It was a great service and we were glad to be a part of it. After our team small groups we had lunch together then headed to Central Park which tied in with our theme of Rest. We spent an hour and a half walking the park and thinking about the picture of disconnect the park provides and what it means for us as we seek to live God’s way. We then went down to Times Square for a while before heading back to the church for dinner and conversation about our learnings from the day. Melissa Carey, one of our youth leaders, was kind enough to join us for the weekend, but had to return this evening for work tomorrow morning. Adriana will be coming out to be with us tomorrow morning. We are now going into a time of worship as a team. Another good day!

Saturday morning at 10am, 23 Planet Impacters met at the Smithtown train station and headed into New York City for a week-long adventure of serving Jesus and growing in God. We to the Long Island Rail Road to Jamaica, then took the subway to Dekalb Ave. in Brooklyn where we disembarked and walked two blocks to our host church, Living Waters Fellowship. We were blessed to have chef John Long welcome us with a hot lunch. We then quickly jumped back on the train and headed all the way up to Hunts Point in the Bronx where we met Pastor Reggie Stutzman, a friend of Pastor Kevin, who is planting a church in the area. Hunts Point is an area of the Bronx that desperately needs the message of hope, the good news of Jesus.

A cool thing happened when we got off the train. Pastor Reggie instructed us to walk up the street while he parked the car and he would meet up with us. Pastor Kevin led the team up a few blocks and then stopped in front of an vacant building to call Pastor Reggie. At that moment Pastor Reggie walked up and said, “I’t really interesting that you stopped in front of THIS building. We have been praying over this building for a while now – that God would open a door for us to make this our permanent church location. Wow!

After a briefing and a time of prayer, our team walked the area for about 45-minutes and handed out 300 flyers inviting people to the service tomorrow. A group pic, goodbyes to Pastor Reggie, and we were back on the train heading down to Manhattan where we took the team to The Top of the Rock – the top of Rockefeller Center. Today was brutally cold with strong, whipping winds, so you can imagine what it felt like 70 floors in the air. We got a group pic and enjoyed the fantastic views of the city. Back downstairs we had some coffee and snacks, then took the train back to Brooklyn.

Dinner was followed by an orientation by Pastor Ron and Anna – the pastors of Living Waters. We then got settled into our rooms, PK met with the leaders, then we had our small groups. Our theme today (which tied in with the trip to Rockefeller) was human potential. We studied the story of the tower of Babel in Genesis 11 and had some terrific conversations about the good things people can accomplish together as well as the potential negative consequences of human achievement. We then worked on our first memory verse of the week (2 Corinthians 4:7) and prayed together. A great start to this adventure!

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Check out more “Duffy Week” on Doug Fields’ Blog

Sadly, yesterday I had another in a series of conversations with youth pastors who are really dealing with frustration in ministry lately. Apathetic, complaining students seems to constantly top the list followed by inconsistent volunteers and unsupportive or non-understanding church leadership. So, here are a few questions I would appreciate your input on as I seek to encourage these leaders:

1. What are some common denominators you’ve observed that contribute to your frustrations?
2. Are there certain times of the year (seasons) when you notice a rise in frustration levels?
3. What keeps you going when you’re frustrated?
4. How do you deal with …
1. Apathetic students?
2. Inconsistent volunteers?
3. Unsupportive church leaders?

Here’s a cool video promoting Elim Fellowship’s Ethnos Conference, February 25-27th. Would be a super conference to go to if you’re feeling called to reach the nations with the gospel. The subtitle: From “I will go” to “I am going.” As side note: The video is probably twice as long as necessary, but it’s a quality production nonetheless … all filmed on my childhood stomping grounds, the campus of Elim Bible Institute.

Do you ever watch The Dog Whisperer? I love that show! One of the things that Cesar Millan says is, “I train people; I rehabilitate dogs.” His premise is that more often than not when dogs are having behavioral problems, it is not because they want to misbehave, but because the owners are not being the pack leaders the dogs need them to be. Is there not a grain of truth in that for us as parents?

While our children are certainly not dogs, consider this. I sometimes hear parents say things like, “My kid is out of control … I just can’t … We’ve tried everything … We don’t know what to do.” While issues surrounding parenting teens are complex, I believe sometimes we need someone like The Dog Whisperer (someone actually wrote a book a few years ago called The Teen Whisperer) to come along, ask us questions, and help us see things in a new light. Sometimes we need to look in the mirror and ask if we are doing all we can do as parents to give our kids the structure they need before we blame our kids and throw up our hands in despair. Perhaps you have heard the following story in the news a couple of years ago:

“When their teenage daughter Emma went into a goth phase a while back, Debra Kelley and Mark Niederbrock thought long and hard about what to do and decided to accept her adolescent rebellion rather than fight it.”

“Emma … was just going through a rough period. Thus they allowed her to invite Richard “Sammy” McCroskey to fly out and spend a few days. Fearing that Emma might run away with McCroskey if they forbade her from attending a horrorcore mash-up called the Strictly for the Wicked Festival in Michigan, they drove the teens 1,300 miles there and back. ‘Debra thought at least if we take them there we’ll make sure they’re safe.”

“‘Debra and Mark were greatly concerned,’ says [a friend] … ‘But they concluded … that ‘you either go along with kids or watch them walk out the door.’ Now friends wish the couple had pushed back. On Sept. 18 police discovered the bodies of Emma, her parents, along with that of a friend … at their home in Farmville, [VA] …” allegedly murdered by McCroskey. (“Real Life Horror” People Magazine, October 26, 2009, pp. 119-121, (Underlines added.))

When I first saw this story on the news a few weeks ago, I was filled with many emotions, but one feeling that I did not experience was surprise. Unfortunately, as the story unfolded, I saw the recipe for disaster – a pattern that I see too often in too many families today (not yours, of course). Obviously, the tragic way this story ended is a rare exception, but take away the gruesome murders and you will probably recognize the story. Parents think child is cute and don’t discipline. Child hits adolescence. Child makes threats to get what they want. Parents panic. Parents give in. Child takes over.

I believe at the core of this scenario is one central issue: Lack of leadership! Parents giving in to the pressure of manipulative children who use their parents’ fears (Example: “I’ll run away!”) to get what they want. When I stand back I ask: Who is running this house? Too often the answer comes back: the child. This is not how God intends our homes to operate. Too many parents today want to be liked by their kids. Sorry! Being liked is overrated! Don’t waste your time trying to get your kids to like you. Seek, rather, to be a person with the fortitude to make tough decisions and stick by them, and the godly character that your children will respect. Your kid doesn’t need another friend. They need a leader! They need courageous parents!

So many of you do such a wonderful job of being the leaders of your homes. I always want to acknowledge that truth! You set such a great example, not only for your children, but also for other parents like myself. This is by no means meant to be a “beat-you-up” kind of article. On the contrary, my hope is that all of us would take some time to assess ourselves as leaders. Let’s not simply look outward; let’s look inward and ask if we are standing in the rightful, God-ordained place of leadership that God has called us to as parents. Are we being the leaders our children need us to be? My wife and I are constantly asking this question of ourselves as we seek to raise our children for Jesus. Sometimes it’s easy. More often than not it’s very tough. But one thing I know: Leadership is always necessary.