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Andy

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Andy sitting

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was a scrawny little middle schooler; new to the school. Our middle school was attached to the high school. Back then students were allowed to smoke in the courtyard of the high school, and the kids who were smoking were usually a rough and tough crowd. Seeing all those long-haired metal heads of the1980s leaning against the wall smoking cigarettes was an intimidating sight for kids like me when we got off the bus. I would put my head down and quickly walk to the middle school, hoping I wouldn’t hear those dreaded words, “Hey kid! Yeah, you! Come over here.”

Fortunately, I never did hear those words. Each day as the bus pulled up to school I would see the tough crowd and shiver a bit. But there was one guy who seemed to stick out. He looked like the others – he had long, blonde hair, and he wore a denim jacket covered with buttons – but there was something different about him. He wasn’t smoking like most of the kids. As I would walk by, he wasn’t swearing like the majority of them. While most kids were acting tough, he was pretty chill. Others had an edge to them; he always seemed to be kind. Then one day I saw something else. He had a book in his hand. And it wasn’t just any book; it was a Bible. It was well-worn. I could tell he had either dropped it repeatedly off of a high building and run it over with a car, or he really read it a lot.

Soon thereafter I was at church, and I saw this same guy! I found out that the boy’s name was Andy. I discovered he was a drummer and loved the Christian metal band Stryper. I also found out that Andy was serious about his faith, and that he had a deep desire to reach people with God’s love. I learned that on Mondays, he would get up really early and go to his youth pastor’s office for devotions and prayer before school. There was something special about this guy, and I knew I wanted to be like Andy.

Before long, I was palling around with Andy. I would get up extra early in the morning to do my paper route, then I would ride my bike over to the church and join him and Pastor Bob for morning devotions and prayer. Bob would read from a little devotional called Our Daily Bread, then we would pray for kids at school, and for kids in our youth group. It was nothing big. Many times it was just the three of us; sometimes a couple of other kids would come. Although I was in middle school, Andy invited me to stay after school and attend the Christian Club he led in the high school.

Andy was a role model for me. I saw him witnessing to kids in his school, praying for people, reading his Bible in the cafeteria during lunch. He was unashamed of Jesus. He would sometimes take me out for lunch to talk to me about Jesus and encourage me. Later he became a youth pastor then went on to be a missionary. To this day Andy still inspires me. He left a legacy in his school and influenced me to be who I am today.

Andy was passionate about Jesus, and his love for God was contagious. I wonder if God wants you to be an Andy. You never know if a kid like me is watching you. What kind of message are you sending with your life?

revkevjr Christianity, Compassion, Jesus, Kindness, Leadership, Legacy, Ministry, Missions, Transformation, Travel

Nicaragua Mission Days 1-2

On Monday Pastor Jerry and I met up with 8 other church leaders from Long Island and the NYC area and traveled to Villa Esperanza in Managua, Nicaragua where we met up with another 5 church leaders from around the US for a vision trip with Forward Edge International. On Tuesday we heard from Forward Edge founder Joseph Anfuso as well as the Villa founders and leadership team about their vision for holistic ministry and community transformation. We then went to the town of Villa Guadalupe where we went to the homes of two families of girls who are in Villa Esperanza’s residential program. We then had lunch with educators, medical professionals, pastors, and community leaders at the local school and heard how they are all working together to address problems and raise the standard of their community.

This town was famous for years for its dump in which people would make a living by digging through the trash to find everything from scraps of food to things they could sell to make a living. Their extreme material poverty resulted in many abuses, most notably against young girls. While many strides have been made, including shutting down the old dump, creating a recycling plant, and much more, most of the abuse continues. You will notice in the pictures below one of a few houses. These houses were built by the French and Nicaraguan governments when they created the recycling plant. Unfortunately, most of the people were not accustomed to the furnishings provided in the homes, and seeing an opportunity to make a quick buck, they sold off the furniture. You will also notice that the windows are boarded up. This was the case of the vast majority of the houses. Why? Because evil requires darkness. Much abuse happens behind the covered windows of these homes. Forward Edge and Villa Esperanza are working hard to address the systemic issues that cause these things today as well as working on initiatives that will transform the community holistically and break the cycles for future generations.

During the afternoon we heard from Dr. Ravi Jayakaran about their process for working with leaders to assess the needs of their community and address those needs in an integral way. During the evening we had dinner with the girls of the Villa. For me personally it was such a joy to be reunited with the girls I met and fell in love with this past summer.

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revkevjr Discipleship, Legacy, Mentoring, Pastoring, Student Ministry, Youth Ministry

Simple New Discipleship Initiative for Students

Last week I had the idea to produce simple 1-minute videos to encourage our students. In our youth ministry we have a ministry to girls called hrt ❤ and a ministry to boys called manUP. Here is the first one for each.


revkevjr Family, Legacy, Marriage, Parenting

Larkin Family Reunion

Last weekend we had the joy of attending the Larkin family reunion in Pennsylvania. 75 of us were there, 30 were missing, and there are 3 more on the way.

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All but about 30 of us and the 3 on the way.
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The blood line
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Some of the 29 grandkids
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Some of the 39 great grandkids
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The Mahaffy family (less April’s family) with Grandma and Grandpa Larkin
revkevjr Art, Family, Journey, Leadership, Legacy, Life, Marriage, Painting, Parenting

New Painting to Honor Grandparents: Legacy

In honor of my Grandma and Grandpa Larkin’s 60th Anniversary, I painted this rock to be presented to them at our family reunion this weekend. They have 8 daughters, 29 grandchildren, and 38 grandchildren (and one on the way). They have served the Lord faithfully and left (and are continuing to leave) a legacy all over the world as pastors and missionaries, and I am so blessed to call them my Grandparents.

revkevjr Adventure, Communication, Faith, Family, Journey, Leadership, Legacy, Life, Marriage, Mentoring, Parenting, Wisdom

Courageous Parenting: The Sisterhood Challenge

Two young girls, 15 and 11 years old from suburbia.

On their way to New York City.

Alone.

If you were one of the girls, how would you be feeling? What would you be thinking? Hopefully you hadn’t watched the movie Home Alone 2 recently.

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Looking at this scene as a parent, what would you be thinking? What would you be worried about? What would you think of these girls’ parents?

What if I told you that this was the parents’ idea? What if I told you that this true is story? What if I told you this is exactly what happened two-and-a-half years ago? What if I told you these two girls were Claudia and Natalia, and these parents were Adriana and me?

What if I told you it was one of the greatest parenting moves we ever made?

Before you start freaking out, let me tell you how it all came about.

It was December 20, 2013. It was a Friday. Adriana and I were both off from work. We had tickets to go see the play A Christmas Story in Manhattan. When I woke up that morning I had one of those ideas in which every detail just came together in rapid succession in my mind. But just as quickly as I got excited about it, I started to feel bummed out. There was no way my wife would go for it. I knew it was the kind of thing loaded with the kind of adventure I crave; but Adriana is not as adventurous as I am. Still, the idea was nagging at me because it was loaded with opportunity. While I knew her initial reaction was going to be to reject it, I also thought perhaps there was a slight chance she would go for it if I could get her to hear the whole thing out, and my reasons for wanting to do it. A parenting principle I live by is:

Protection is important.
Nurture is more important.
Equipping is the most important!

To that end, I made Adriana the best cup of coffee imaginable (I may or may not have sweetened the environment with some flowers), and I worked up the courage to share the idea with her, knowing full well that the delicious coffee she was drinking might end up all over me if she reacted with one of those ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!! kind of responses. I was about to make a big ask. I was about to ask her to consider doing something that would stretch our whole family. Here’s what I asked her:

What if we create a challenge for our girls to exercise their maturity? What if we head into the city together, and leave Claudia and Natalia to make their way into the city on their own to meet us?

(Insert ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!! about here.)

“Wait, wait,” I told her. “Hear me out.”

“We will leave them detailed instructions and resources. I will write out everything they need to do, exactly as they need to do it. I will secure someone to come and pick them up at the house and drive them to the train station. I will leave them money and tell them how to buy train tickets. We will tell them where to meet us. If you stop and think about it, we’re only asking them to listen and follow instructions, and really the only thing they are doing is going from our house to the train station, riding the train directly to Penn Station (which is the last stop, so there is no chance they will miss their stop), and walking up the stairs to find us at the Starbucks in Penn Station. It’s really very straight forward and simple, but for them it will seem like a big adventure, a daunting undertaking, and it will instill in them some very important life principles and confidence. So, what do you think?”

“Who will pick them up? But what if …?” she asked.

I assured her we would get someone they knew to pick them up. Someone safe. And I answered her other questions sufficiently enough that Adriana finally, nervously, a bit hesitantly, said Yes. Like I said, this exercise was going to stretch all of us, not just the girls. And with that, I got to work.

Here is the actual letter I left them:

Welcome to …

The Sisterhood Teamwork Challenge!

  • It should be about 3:20pm
  • Rules:
    • Rule #1: No Whining or complaining!
    • Rule #2: No Fighting!
    • Rule #3: No Phone calls unless it’s a real emergency!
    • Rule #4: No Fear!
    • Rule #5: Work together!
    • Rule #6: Be confident!
    • Rule #7: Stay together at all times!
    • Rule #8: Stay together at all times!
  • We Believe in you!
  • After you finish reading this, get ready. Dress warmly. Warm pants, good walking shoes, coat, hat, gloves, maybe a scarf.
  • Make sure to take the envelop on the table.
  • Don’t forget your phones.
  • A safe car is coming to pick you up at 3:45pm. It will take you to the Manhasset train station.
  • Use the cash provided. Go to the Ticket Machine that accepts cash. (Some only take credit cards.)
    • Select Round Trip – Off Peak from Manhasset to Penn Station. 1 child and 1 adult. Select None. Pay with Cash.
  • Get tickets, and your change.
  • Get on the train when it arrives. The train is scheduled to leave at 4:13pm. Make sure you get on the train to Penn Station.
  • Send a text to us simply saying, “We are on the train.”
  • During the ride use the sheet provided to interview one another.
  • When you arrive at Penn Station, walk upstairs and find Starbucks.
  • Remember, always look confident, not scared!
  • When you arrive at Starbucks you will be greeted by your parents and something special that you will love.
  • Smile & celebrate when you arrive! You did it!

Adriana and I were sitting in Starbucks that afternoon, anxiously checking the time and carefully watching the Starbucks entrance. Finally, we saw them. Two young ladies walking toward Starbucks, wide-eyed, hoping and praying that they would see their parents. They had done it. After the old Why did you do that? We can’t believe you left without us! rant they smiled, realizing they had done it; that it wasn’t as insane or as dangerous as they had imagined it would be, and we laughed and debriefed the experience together over dinner before going to the play. It was awesome!

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Our girls are now 17 and (almost) 14. Now Claudia asks us if she can go to the city without us all the time. Natalia isn’t yet asking to go to the city without us, but she does ask if she can venture locally with her friends. I thought of this story last weekend. Both of them came to us asking if they could go to Hillsongs Church in NYC with a few of their friends. There was no unhealthy fear in their voices. They were confident. Because of our little “experiment” a couple of years ago, Adriana and I knew this was not too big a thing for them to do. They knew how to buy train tickets, read the signs in Penn Station, and get around, so we said they could go. When they got home they told us how they ran into one of their friends and her mom in line for church. The mom, who is a good friend of ours, was in amazement that they were there without us.

When we were together the other night after one of our youth events I recounted the above story for this mom, and explained that it was because of little challenges like that through the years that we were able to have confidence in our girls to do bigger things now. He who is faithful with little can be trusted with much.

Remember, parents, give your kids some controlled challenges while they are young. Safety is important. Providing for your kids is more important. But putting them in challenging (not dangerous, but not completely risk-free) situations that will stretch them and help them be able to face the challenges of their lives ahead with knowledge, wisdom, and confidence is the most important thing. Don’t let unhealthy fear set the agenda for your parenting. Be courageous. Your kids will thank you for it one day.

revkevjr Family, Legacy, Life, Marriage, Parenting

Beads and Parenting … 2 Years Later

Two years ago this week I wrote about How Jars of Beads Have Affected My Parenting. You can read the idea behind it in the original post, but basically each bead represents a day, and the number of beads represent the number of days each of our girls have until they are off to college, and this season of life is over, the next phase of life begins, and the dynamics of our relationship with them will change in many ways. As of today (using mid-August as an estimate) we are down to 365 days remaining for Claudia, and 1,460 days left for Natalia. You can see in the pictures below the comparison of how far the beads have gone down in two years. It’s a sober reminder of how fast time goes by, and also a challenge to make sure we give our girls our best and invest well in them before they are off to college or wherever God leads them after high school. As I wrote previously, there are days when I kick myself for not doing more to invest in and impact them. And there are other days when I can say we did a pretty good job creating memories and/or preparing them for life. Through it all we are trying and we are learning. Here are a couple of things I have been thinking about, especially as I reach into Claudia’s jar every morning.

  • The further down the beads go, the tougher they are to reach. You’ll notice that the vases have curves in them. When the beads are closer to the top they are easy to get to. But within the past couple of months, I have noticed that it is harder to get my hand into the vase to reach Claudia’s beads. Hard truth: The older our kids get the more difficult it is to reach them. But there is good news.
  • It is still possible to reach them, it just takes some adjusting and creativity. I can still reach the beads, but I have to change my approach. I can’t go in with my hand wide open. Instead I have to make my hand as thin as I can, and once I get through the curve, I have to maneuver my fingers awkwardly until I get a bead. Then I have to somehow hold on to it as I contort my hand to get it back through the curve. Another thing I sometimes have to do is tip the vase so the beads get closer to the opening and they are easier to reach. Truth: We can still influence our kids as they get older, but we have to be patient and creative in our approach.

044dd-img_9648IMG_6382God, please help us as parents to redeem the time and maximize the days we have during this precious season of our daughters’ lives to point them to You and to empower them to be the women of God You have called them to be. You have great plans and purposes for their lives, and we pray they will find their identity, security, and destiny in You, and You alone. Amen.

 

revkevjr Christianity, Compassion, Evangelism, Faith, Jesus, Kindness, Legacy, Mentoring, Ministry, Missions, Preaching, Student Ministry, Travel, Youth Ministry

Nicaragua Mission Day 7

This morning we had devotions at 7:30am and breakfast at 8am. We then set up for something of a “VBS”. We had 2 groups of children bussed in from the community – one group at 9am and another at 2pm. We played soccer, did facepainting, made balloon animals, then had a time of singing and dancing followed by a gospel message. We are super proud of Claudia who preached in the morning, and Timmy who preached in the afternoon.  About 5 children prayed to receive Christ following each message! Never underestimate the significance of a child praying to receive the Lord. I was one of those children! Let’s pray for these 10 or so kids. Pray that the seed of the Word of God has landed on good soil, and that it will bear good fruit in their lives. This evening we had rhe 7 year anniversary celebration of Villa Esperanza. We led worship, some of the girls from the Villa did some dances, we ate dinner, had cake, watched a slide show, and shared notes and took pictures with the girls. It was a very fun night. Tomorrow we are loading the bus at 4am to head to the airport.   
    
    
    
   

   

    
 

revkevjr Campus Ministry, Christianity, Evangelism, Jesus, Leadership, Legacy, School, Student Ministry, Team, Youth Ministry

Passing the Leadership Baton

Many of you may remember the excitement we experienced 8 months ago when our youngest daughter Natalia started the first-ever Christian Club in her middle school. All year they averaged almost 30 students in weekly attendance, and it was awesome watching the influence they had in the school and beyond. A few weeks ago, they received a Certificate of Merit from the New York State Assembly for their project of sending Valentines to Veterans which is going to be framed and displayed in the school!

After an amazing school year, yesterday we attended the final club meeting of the year. We have been so proud of our girl for all of her hard work and leadership. She assembled a great team of her peers and led them as together they led the club all year. Perhaps the most impressive part of her leadership is that right from the start she recognized that as an 8th grader this was her final year in the middle school, but she wanted the club to continue long after she was gone, so she was looking for future leaders from day one.

About 3 months ago, she and her team really started praying, watching, and talking with the younger students who had been faithful and active in the club, and who had a desire to be lights in their school. Two months ago she approached two 6th graders and asked them about the possibility of them leading next year. After they accepted, she began training them, giving them opportunities to lead, and giving them leadership feedback. Yesterday, as we celebrated a great inaugural year for the club, Natalia and her team formally handed the baton of leadership to the aforementioned students and prayed over them.

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revkevjr Campus Ministry, Christianity, Evangelism, Fellowship, Jesus, Leadership, Legacy, Mentoring, Outreach, Parenting, Pastoring, School, Speaking, Student Ministry, Youth Ministry

Video: Natalia Speaking at Youth For Christ Banquet

Last night was one of the greatest highlights of my life as a father and as a youth pastor. I had the privilege of sharing the stage with my daughter at the Youth For Christ banquet as she shared about starting a Christian Club in her middle school. Our family is so proud of her!

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Natalia with banquet speaker Pastor Dimas Salaberrios of The Bronx

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