Month: April 2008

Actually from my recliner, because my bed is too uncomfortable for my back at this point. Which, by the way is ridiculous, because it’s a friggin Kingsdown. Anyways, that’s not the point.

Before I went in for surgery I made sure all my ducks were in a row and all my bases were covered. Nevertheless, life doesn’t usually play by our rules. Stuff happens. Two days ago, one of my student’s mother’s died after a fast 3-month battle with cancer. I was faced with a decision. Just plow ahead with the plan I had in place, or be sensitive to this tragedy and adjust to meet the needs of my students. As sore as I am, and as inconvenient as it was, I chose the latter.

I called up the guy who was so excited about coming and sharing his testimony about how Jesus saved him from life as a drug dealer and gang banger who even did time in prison, and I informed him that due to this tragedy I was going to have to shift gears and move in a different direction. I told him that even if he went on tonight, the kids would have a huge, and in many cases, insurmountable hurdle to get over in order to hear his message. I just felt, through no fault of his own, it would not be well received. I did, however, give him another date in just a couple of weeks.

Next I called my friend who is one of the core leaders at our high school who functions in many ways as a pastor to the students who attend, and I asked him if he could shepherd the students through this in my absence. He was more than willing to help out.

I also had my wife pull the reigns on the worship team who was fully engaged in preparations. I told them we had to really scale things back for the night. Just the piano and one vocal. I want the night to be worshipful and reflective.

A night like this means many things. It means inconvenience. It means that people have to walk in humility. It means sacrifice. It means being sensitive to the needs of the flock. It means being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. My thanks to all who have been such great team players. I am proud of you!

But He did say He would be with us. And more than being with us, He said He would be IN us. I am home now, and there is certainly a better level of freedom in that, but the reality is, I am still in pain. I still have a hard time sleeping. Last night I did 3 1/2 hours straight, then an hour and a half, then a half hour. Throughout the day I am learning to just sleep when I can. The issue is comfort. I just can’t get comfortable. Oh well, at least I have THE COMFORTER to allow me to cry on His shoulder when I am frustrated because I can’t fall asleep. 🙂

Last week my wife Adriana and I went to visit a woman in our church who was up and running around, full of life, and working at our school just three months ago. We went to visit her because three months ago she was diagnosed with cancer. The reason we found ourselves visiting Sharon last week was because we had received word that she had been moved to hospice which is where they take people when medicine can do no more so that they can die with dignity and some degree of comfort.

When we arrived to Sharon’s room, several folks from the church were there as well as some family members. After some greetings we turned to see Sharon, but she was literally unrecognizable. I had never seen anything it in my life. The affects of the chemo, etc. had caused her to deteriorate beyond recognition. She had been sleeping for two days straight when we arrived, only awakening sporadically. When we talked and prayed with her she was unresponsive. The first time I saw her respond was when her mother came in and kissed her forehead and told her mommy was here. She moaned trying to say something, and raised her right arm to try and touch her, but then she fell back to sleep. It was very precious.

After some dialogue with the others in the room, we went to Sharon to say our goodbye’s and when my wife told her that she had taken her daughter (one of our students) out that morning and spent some time with her, and that she was going to continue to care for her, Sharon again tried many times to speak and raise her hand. Interestingly the two things that elicited a response from her were the voice of her mother and the voice of someone assuring her that her daughter was being cared for.

As my wife and I walked to the car, Adriana broke down. She cried almost the entire ride home. It had been a truly holy moment. We felt the weight and the privilege of being pastors during this difficult time.

Last night Sharon went to be with Jesus.

Thank you Lord for answering our prayer that Sharon’s suffering would be ended. Thank you for the opportunity to know her. Thank you also for allowing us the privilege of saying good bye and being able to give Sharon some peace so she could let go and go home to be with you.

Please pray for us as we shepherd Sharon’s daughter and the rest of our youth through this difficult time. Also pray for her husband, her son, and their extended family. I know that there is no formula for dealing with the difficulty of grief and loss, but here are a few reminders that I often think of and remind students of during these difficult times:

1. Death is a Reality we all face (Job 1:21; Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)
2. It’s OK to Grieve (Even Jesus grieved (John 11:35))
3. Grieving is Not a Lack of Faith (“we don not grieve AS those who have no hope” (I Thessalonians 4:13) but we DO grieve!)
4. Go to God (Psalm 23:4) (His Rod & Staff = His comfort, direction, and protection)
5. Receive from God (Let Who He is minister to you where you are at) (Isaiah 53:3; Hebrews 2:18; John 14:26; John 15:26)
6. Trust in God (Isaiah 55:9; Proverbs 3:5)
7. We All Die, so the Question is: How do We Live? “It is appointed for men to die once” (Hebrews 9:27) “Now is the time of God’s favor; today is the day of salvation (II Corinthians 6:2)

Hi everyone! It’s 3am and I am up to my old tricks again. As many of you know I am quite the night owl. It is not uncommon for me to be seen (or more often than not – not seen) jogging the streets of Smithtown in the wee hours of the morning. Well, at 2:30am I got up to, as we instruct our dogs, “do my business” when suddenly the urge to exercise hit me. So, I unplugged my machine and began running sprints around our suite. I turned in a 4.0. OK, maybe that’s going a little far. I looked more like an old man – but I was exercising. I feel like I am getting stronger by the hour, so let’s pray that they’ll let me out of here soon.
KEV

But I’m not talking about my back. I am talking about the fact the North Carolina Tarheels just went down to the Kansas Jayhawks. This makes me want to drink my bag of morphine. Just Kidding! I was doing so well on my bracket, but now I am out. I had UNC and UCLA in the final, but now it’s Memphis and Kansas. So close! Oh well.

Hey everyone! Sorry I didn’t blog yesterday afternoon. After a tremendous start to my recovery, yesterday I went for a walk around the suite with my physical therapist. It was quite romantic. Me with my pretty gown on, and him with his handsome white robe. Very special. lol When I returned I felt good and sat in a chair for the first time. Just after I got situated, Adriana and her sister came to visit bearing a Starbucks Caramel Machiatto. I was very excited. After chatting for a while, I decided I was no longer comfortable in the chair and went to get in the bed. As soon as I moved, however, I felt what I can only describe as a tear at the top of my incision. The pain was sharp and incredibly intense. Then I saw them … stars and spots. I started sweating, and I told Ady I was going bye bye, and sure enough, the next thing I knew, I was on a beach in Hawaii. There were children laughing, my mother was riding a tricycle, and there were ducks running around my hammock. An emergency call went out, and the next thing I knew about 20 people were on top of me hooking me up to wires and tubes. I was awake, but then I started experiencing intense back spasms. I received some medicines which after about a half an hour kicked in and the spasms subsided. A couple of hours later, I walked to the bathroom and back, and sure enough … 2 hours straight of spasms. That’s the bad news. The good new is that they increased my doses, and i slept quite well last night with the exception of one spasmatic episode. I also spent almost the entire day sleeping today. I have been able to stand to go to the bathroom, and I did go for another walk around the suite … this time with a beautiful Mexican woman. Don’t tell Adriana. No, wait, it was Adriana. lol Hoping and praying to be home in the next day or two. Thanks for the prayers.
Kev

Hi Friends! It is 11:30pm and I am blogging from my hospital bed. So cool! I went into surgery today at about 1:30. It was a 3 hour procedure which I remember nothing about. The first thing I heard when I woke up was my surgeon telling me that everything went great. As soon as I came to I instantly noticed a remarkable change in my body. Not only did my lower back feel better, but also my legs, my shoulders, and even my neck pain is gone! Thank You Lord! Amazing how one pinched nerve can cause so much pain throughout the body.

I’m sore where the incision was, and the muscles are sore, but it’s tolerable. The meds have worn off quite a bit now, but I have not hit the morphine drip yet at all. The nurse is surprised that I haven’t. Here’s the best way I can describe it: The pain that was once inside of my lower back is now on the outside.

Ady and the girls were there when I woke up. As you can imagine, the girls were nervous and concerned seeing me with wires and tubes all over me and in me. I made some jokes to try and put them at ease, but my oldest daughter (as mentioned in my blog the other day), is very caring and sensitive, and she teared up a few times. After moving me to my room I again assured her that I was OK and asked her why she was crying. She said, “I don’t want you to die.” How sweet and innocent! I called her over to myself, told her I had something to tell her, then I keeled over and pretended I was dead. No, just kidding! I didn’t do that! I’m sick, but I’m not that sick! April Fools! Ha Ha! Please continue to pray for my healing, and for my family as they walk through this with me.

Much Love,
Kevin

This is about how my back has felt for several years. Tomorrow morning I head in for back surgery. Hopefully the surgeon won’t forget to put in the crystals (a quote from Napoleon Dynamite)! Appreciate the prayers!
Kevin

My 10-year old daughter was crying before bed time last night. In fact, she’s done this a few times over the past couple of weeks. It’s not that she has something wrong. It’s that she’s extremely caring. She can’t stand to see people in pain or the thought of someone going through a painful experience.

Thursday I am going in for back surgery. It’s a fairly common and routine surgery – a disk fusion, but my daughter is dreading the thought that someone is going to cut me open. For her, that’s the most aweful pain imaginable. I’ve explained to her that I need to go through this pain to end a much more significant pain that I have been experiencing for years. Sometimes things have to get worse to get better. That’s why I am going through with the surgery. I am actually, on some sick and morbid level, looking forward to the surgery. I am tired of being tired and in pain, so for me this temporary pain is actually freeing in the long run.

Pray for me as I undergo this surgery. But pray also for my wife and daughters – the oldest daughter especially.