Month: April 2008

Today was our church workday, and many volunteers showed up to work on the church property. Many thanks to those in particular who did some work on our lawn. Our trustees also voted to have a patio put in in our back yard, and agreed to finish our basement. The patio is now finished, and last night and today we were trying to get things moved so they can come and do the basement. I had to take down all of my books and box them up. Although I am not supposed to be lifting things over 5 lbs. I cheated a little bit. I put the books in the boxes, but no, I did not lift or move the boxes. It was a lot of work for me en lieu of my recent surgery, but I am glad I was able to be at least minimally helpful. My awesome wife did a ton of work. We again threw away a ton of stuff and donated much more.

Many of my students won’t even recognize half of the names on this list, but for those of us who grew during the elementary years of hip hop, the names make us crack a smile. Click here to see the 25 Worst Rappers of All Time: http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/listoftheday/2977/the-25-worst-rappers-of-all-time/

Something was bothering her. We have a great relationship, but she just wouldn’t seem to open up and share with me what was bothering her so. Then last night, I called her over to me. She laid her head on my chest as every daddy loves to feel his daughter do. She said, “Dad?” “Yeah buddy,” I replied. (Buddy is my little nickname for her.) “Can I talk to you before I go to bed?” “Sure,” I replied. Her eyes teared up, and she began to tell me that some of the girls at school had been being mean to her and she was feeling picked on. She said that her friends were all breaking up into little groups and that the girls were starting to be mean to the girls who were not in their groups. In fact, they had even labeled their groups – the “cool” group and the “weird” group. My daughter asked me why they had to do that. As she was crying she asked, “Why can’t we all just be friends. I don’t like to see people being mean.”

My heart as a father was breaking. Working with teenagers, I know all too well the world of cliques, and in my studies I have discovered that there is quite a consensus that 4th grade is the crucial grade during which so many kids lock into their identities and affinity groups. My daughter is in fourth grade, and even before this year began I told my wife that this was going to be a critical year for us to be watching for signs and listening very closely to the things our daughter was picking up and being exposed to.

I won’t go into all of the details, but these girls who had been such good friends, now, in the second half of the school year are beginning to demonstrate the thing that I hate with a passion … cliques. Cliques are defined by their exclusivity. Hardly a week goes by at youth group that I do not bring up the importance of inclusiveness and that exclusivity has no place in the life of a Christ-follower. Cliques are fellowship (something beautiful that God created and desires for us) gone bad.

What blessed me so much is that this value which I not only try to talk about, but live out in my own life and model for my family, is being embraced by my children. Last night at the end of our talk, I invited my daughter to pray for her friends and to ask God for the courage and wisdom to do the right thing to bring an end to this thing before these girls get it so ingrained in their character that I have to deal with it for years to come when they are teenagers. Her prayer was absolutely beautiful and mature beyond her years. I was so blessed when she said, “Jesus, please help us to be inclusive and not break up into groups and be mean to one another. Help us show Jesus to one another.”

It was a holy moment, and one that I will never forget as a father. I am so proud of my daughter and the beautiful young woman of God that she is and is becoming.

This morning I received my Simply Youth Ministry newsletter and discovered that they published an article I submitted called “Caring for Grieving Students.” You can access it by clicking on the title above. I also just noticed that it is also published on youthministry.com which is Group’s website. Read here …

caring for grieving students
Last week, my wife Adriana and I went to visit Sharon, the mother of one of our students. Three months ago, Sharon was up and running …

I am super excited! My absolute favorite band P.O.D. just released their new alum “When Angels & Serpents Dance” and I’ve been thumpin to it all week. The doctor ordered it as part of my physical therapy! lol Enjoy!

This picture was taken while I was in the hospital. Remember when I told you I was blogging while heavily drugged and I kept falling asleep while typing. Here’s the proof. Ha Ha!

I picked this book up at the recommendation of a respected friend. I don’t generally read a lot of business books, but I am making an intentional effort to diversify my reading some.

The Go-Giver written as a story about a young man who is seeking to discover the secret of success, is a quick and easy read. I took about an hour yesterday and read through it. In the story, the young man meets up with a successful man who offers to mentor him for a period of days. Each day the man arranges for him to meet others who demonstrate what he calls the five laws of stratospheric success.

Although not in business per se, I enjoyed the read and was challenged because the principles set forth were all servant-leadership oriented, and that is applicable in any field. Pick this book up if you are going on a 2-hour flight or so and would like a good little book to read. When I finished it, I had my secretary type up my underlines, and I am passing it on to one of my volunteer youth leaders who is a business man.

It’s the Little Things: Everyday Interactions That Anger, Annoy, and Divide the Races by Lena Williams

I started this book in the fall of 2001, and for some reason I put it down about half way through reading it. I am the kind of guy who is consistently reading 3 or 4 books at any given time, but I recently made a commitment that I wouldn’t start any new books until I finished the ones I have started and left hanging. I also made a deal with my wife that whenever i purchase new books, i have to get rid of some other ones in my library. For those of you who have never seen it, I have a very large library, although it is shrinking constantly because I am trying to get rid of books that I have read or will never read so that others can take advantage of them.

To the book. I have always been intrigued, fascinated, and enjoyed the diversity of God’s people. I am so thankful for my parents who did not allow me to be tainted by prejudice or racism.

My best friend since I was eleven years old and to this day is black, and my parents never once mentioned that there would be anything even remotely foreign about such a concept.

My first girlfriend was black, and when I informed my parents, once again not one negative thing came out of their mouths to me about it. The first time I ever heard any notion that something was remotely strange (not to me, but to others in out society) was when I, as a 13 year old kid, made mention that we were going to get married some day (Ahh! Puppy Love!), and someone told me that if I married a black girl they would not come to my wedding.

I was crushed because this was someone I really looked up to. I was totally confused. I couldn’t understand where that kind of statement had come from. That was the first time my parents sat me dawn and explained that unfortunately some people had a way of thinking that people who were different should not be associated in any kind of romantic way. They reaffirmed that that was snot their stance, and that it should not be mine either – that God had created all people equally.

So, when I saw this book seven years ago, I thought the title was quite intriguing and picked it up. As I read, I kept noticing that the majority of the experiences in the book were focused on blacks, not whites. The author notes that, unfortunately, this is true. She says, “I had hoped to get white Americans to open up and bear their souls about race and race relations in America” but that finding them was more difficult than she anticipated. She quotes Dr. Alvin Poussaint who says, “Whites do not have the vast experiences with race that many blacks have, so it is difficult for them to talk about racial prejudice without appearing naive and uninformed” (p. 274).

Perhaps the thing that I was most looking forward to, after hearing story after story after story about racial prejudices and injustices, were possible solutions or ideas to begin working toward reconciliation and authentic healing. To this query, Williams says, “Believe me, if I had the answers, I’d go tell it on the mountain, over the hills, and everywhere. But I don’t” (p. 274). She confesses that she wrote the book ti get people to react, not to respond with indifference. “What I aspired to do in writing the book was to get people talking among themselves, families, coworkers, and friends about the things we do and say behind closed doors, about the reasons why these century-old stereotypes still exist, and about what we as individuals can do about race beyond blaming institutions” (p. 275).

I read this book in my own private reading time. Had I read it with a group, perhaps more dialogue would have been fostered, but I would welcome some comments and discussions here on the blog. Let me know what you think.

“Speaking to Teenagers”

by Doug Fields and Duffy Robbins

OK, so like these two guys are like totally my favorite youth ministry guru guys, so like it’s gonna be like really hard to be like objective. But I’ll like try my best I guess.

I picked up the book about 6 months ago at the Youth Specialties conference in Atlanta. I think it was the only resource Simply Youth Ministry had that I did not own. Honestly, as attractive as the cover was (and the price!) I have read so many books on preaching and communication that I was tempted to pass it up. But when my two favorite youth ministry mentors write a book together I figure I really ought to contribute to the feeding of their wives and children, and in Duffy’s case his great-great grandchildren. Plus, there is not a lot of food in Jerry’s fridge these days George!

Last week I finally pulled the book off the shelf and read it. I must say that reading it was like listening in on a live conversation with Doug and Duffy. If you have ever heard them talk, both of them love to use a lot of humor, but behind the humor is tremendous, practical substance. There were many times when I would be reading through a list or a chart or a paragraph, just cruising along, when suddenly there was a line or a sentence that caught me off guard and had me rolling in laughter – which hurt because I was reading the book while recovering from back surgery. Their self effacing humor is so funny.

Beyond the humor, however, the subtitle of the book accurately describes what you will find inside: How to think about, create, and deliver effective messages. They rehash some classic, time-tested study and delivery methods, but they also go much further and present some of their own fresh and rejuvenating ideas that will give your message prep and delivery a great boost.

Just last year I read Andy Stanley’s book Communicating for a Change, and at one point in this book I was noticing some similarities. Obviously, God is doing something to help us adjust the way we communicate in this generation to be more effective in reaching people with the hope of the gospel. What was cool is that they made mention of the similarities between the two books in the book. On page 178 Doug lets us in on an e-mail dialogue he had with Duffy after reading Andy’s book while writing this one. He expressed that he was almost ready to give up because, as I fully agree, Andy’s book is an amazing book on speaking. However, Duffy pointed out that Andy’s book really only focused on one chapter of their book, so they pressed on.

What is a blessing about this book is that it is written for those who communicate or want to communicate with teenagers specifically. Duffy and Doug understand teenagers, they understand youth leaders, and they put together a book that helps youth leaders cross the bridge to minister to this specific audience. They have a passion for the declaration of God’s Word from generation to generation. I would highly recommend reading it, and you would do well to read it in conjunction with Andy Stanley’s book. What a 1-2 communication punch!